When Letting Go Is the Hardest Part: How ACT Helps You Stop Fighting Your Thoughts

Do you ever feel like you’re at war with your own mind? Whether it’s replaying a past mistake, worrying about the future, or trying to silence that inner critic, the struggle to “control” your thoughts can be exhausting. At New Horizons Therapy NY, we help individuals find peace through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) — an approach that teaches you to stop fighting your feelings and start living fully in the present moment.

What Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (pronounced “act”) is a scientifically backed form of psychotherapy that combines mindfulness and behavior change strategies. Instead of focusing on eliminating negative emotions or thoughts, ACT helps you build psychological flexibility — the ability to experience difficult feelings without letting them control your actions.

In other words, ACT teaches you to make room for discomfort so you can focus on what truly matters to you.

When Avoidance Becomes the Problem

It’s natural to want to avoid pain. But when avoidance becomes your go-to coping mechanism — whether it’s through distraction, denial, or perfectionism — it can actually make distress worse over time.

Examples of emotional avoidance include:

• Pushing away grief by staying “too busy” to think about it.

• Avoiding anxiety by canceling plans or skipping opportunities.

• Numbing self-criticism through overworking or over-scrolling.

Avoidance offers temporary relief but reinforces fear, self-doubt, and emotional distance. ACT helps you break that cycle by gently facing, rather than fleeing from, your internal experiences.

How ACT Helps You Stop Fighting Your Thoughts

ACT is built around six core principles that guide individuals toward a more accepting and meaningful life. Some of these include:

1. Cognitive Defusion: Learning to separate yourself from your thoughts. Instead of thinking “I’m a failure,” you might notice, “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.” This small shift weakens self-criticism’s power.

2. Acceptance: Making space for unpleasant emotions — sadness, fear, guilt — without judgment. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking or approving of these feelings; it simply means allowing them to exist so they can pass naturally.

3. Present-Moment Awareness: Mindfulness exercises help anchor you in the now. When you stay present, you reduce rumination about the past or anxiety about the future.

4. Values Clarification: ACT helps you identify what truly matters — relationships, creativity, compassion — and align your actions with those values, even during emotional discomfort.

5. Committed Action: Once your values are clear, therapy helps you take small, purposeful steps toward living them every day.

Real-World Examples of ACT in Action

ACT isn’t about abstract concepts — it’s about living differently. Here’s how it can help in real life:

• Grief: Instead of trying to “move on,” you learn to honor your loss while finding new ways to stay connected to life.

• Anxiety: Rather than fighting worry, you practice allowing it to be there — and still show up for work, relationships, and self-care.

• Self-Criticism: ACT helps you recognize harsh inner voices as just thoughts, not truths, so you can treat yourself with more compassion.
  

Is ACT Therapy Right for You?

If you often feel stuck in your head, constantly analyze your emotions, or struggle with perfectionism or anxiety, ACT might be the right approach for you. ACT can benefit individuals dealing with:

• Anxiety and stress

• Depression

• Grief and loss

• Low self-esteem

• Trauma recovery

• Relationship challenges
  

At New Horizons Therapy NY, our licensed therapists integrate ACT principles into compassionate, personalized care to help you live a life guided by purpose rather than fear.

Take the First Step Toward Peace of Mind

You don’t have to “get rid of” anxiety or sadness to live a meaningful life. ACT helps you make peace with discomfort — so you can stop fighting your thoughts and start focusing on what truly matters.

Contact New Horizons Therapy NY today to schedule an online session and discover how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help you find balance, freedom, and clarity in your everyday life.