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  • Writer's pictureJulia Koroleva

New Horizons Therapy NY Blog: Controlling Jealousy in a Relationship

Jealousy is a natural human emotion that can arise in any relationship. However, when jealousy becomes excessive, controlling, or unfounded, it can poison the connection between partners and lead to damaging consequences.

Here's a deeper look into controlling jealousy and how to address it:

Understanding Controlling Jealousy:

  • Roots of Jealousy: Jealousy often stems from insecurity, fear of abandonment, past betrayals, or low self-esteem.

  • Signs of Controlling Jealousy:

  • Constant accusations of infidelity

  • Checking your partner's phone or social media

  • Isolating you from friends and family

  • Monitoring your whereabouts and activities

  • Demanding excessive attention and reassurance

  • Explosive anger or emotional outbursts

  • Impact on the Relationship: Controlling jealousy erodes trust, creates a toxic atmosphere, and can escalate into emotional or physical abuse.

Strategies for Addressing Jealousy:

  1. Honest Communication: Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings of jealousy. Explain what triggers your jealousy and how it affects you.

  2. Identify the Root Cause: Explore the underlying reasons for your jealousy. Are there past experiences or insecurities that contribute to your feelings?

  3. Build Self-Esteem: Focus on building your self-worth and confidence. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, and remind yourself of your own value and strengths.

  4. Trust-Building Exercises: Work together with your partner to rebuild trust. This may involve setting clear boundaries, establishing transparency in communication, and engaging in activities that foster intimacy and connection.

  5. Challenge Irrational Thoughts: When jealous thoughts arise, question their validity. Are there any concrete reasons to believe your partner is being unfaithful, or are your fears based on insecurities?

  6. Seek Professional Help: If jealousy is significantly impacting your relationship or well-being, consider individual or couples therapy. A therapist can help you develop coping mechanisms, address underlying issues, and build healthier communication patterns.

Remember, controlling jealousy is not a sign of love, but rather an indication of deeper emotional issues that need to be addressed. By working together with your partner and seeking professional guidance when needed, you can overcome jealousy and cultivate a more trusting, fulfilling, and loving relationship.

At New Horizons Therapy NY, we offer individual and couples therapy for individuals struggling with jealousy, trust issues, and relationship challenges. Our therapists can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and build stronger, more resilient relationships. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help.

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